Category Archives: I am a big old hippie

God just keeps on whistling and getting his hands dirty

That line I’ve pinched as a title was written by a beautiful bear of a musician called Adam McGrath. It’s probable that I’m drawn to big beardy men because they’re like my dad. I’m fine with that because my dad’s … Continue reading

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A modest proposal?

Apparently I’ve been living under a rock all year, because I just found out last week that words and phrases paradoxically don’t mean what they, well, mean. It’s post-modernism’s reader-as-arbiter-of-meaning gone mad, I tell you. What am I talking about? … Continue reading

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Creativity will out, apparently

At my first appointment with my new psychiatrist, he said, “you can’t tell me the person sitting in front of me isn’t creative.” The most creative thing I’d done in the previous week was dye my hair red and blue. … Continue reading

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On dipping my toes back in

At the end of my last post you can see the revelation hitting me like a giant bead-fringed scarf in the face: I need bellydance in order to be happy. I’m pretty sure I need ATS®. Some ancillary revelations have … Continue reading

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Another thing to be out if not proud about

TW: mental illness, self-pity, death wish discussion Hi, my name is Sylvia and I have depression. I’ve been on antidepressant medication of various sorts for 23 years. Sometimes it helps, sometimes it doesn’t. Sometimes life is doable, sometimes I feel … Continue reading

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I am here with you

Lately I’ve been practising metta meditation, and “I am here with you” has come to be one of my lovingkindness mantras: for myself, for people I love, for neutral acquaintances, for people I have difficulties with, for cats. Today I … Continue reading

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The lost art of keeping my mouth shut

Introversion is dominant in my family. My mother was an extrovert and used to excel at filling the ample silences provided by the rest of us. When she died, I felt myself stepping into her role in that regard, even … Continue reading

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Crash

It’s been over seven months since I moved out of my house with minimal possessions (which for a bellydancer means an extensive spreadsheet documenting what is stored at the houses of which friends and family members), not knowing where I … Continue reading

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Strengths

I know I go on about it a lot, but participating in Niyc Pidgeon’s Upgrade Your Success programme last summer was a great thing for me and has had all kinds of follow-on effects. One fun thing we worked with … Continue reading

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Reasons to smile at passers-by

It’s just been world smile day. I want to see you smile. I’m talking about smiling at people on the street, in hallways, in yoga class. People you know and people you don’t know and everyone in between. You’re smiling … Continue reading

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