Tag Archives: trying not to be a dick

TL/DR: I had a breakdown, quit my job, and feel much better

People who don’t know me well or see me regularly didn’t get it. At first only three people believed I’d done the right thing: my counsellor, my psychiatrist, and most importantly, me. Then I started telling people who’d seen how … Continue reading

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A modest proposal?

Apparently I’ve been living under a rock all year, because I just found out last week that words and phrases paradoxically don’t mean what they, well, mean. It’s post-modernism’s reader-as-arbiter-of-meaning gone mad, I tell you. What am I talking about? … Continue reading

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My big fat brain

In my last post I alluded to my ex-eating-disorder and how the BMI is evil bullshit. I was diagnosed with anorexia nervosa when I was 16. I’ve finally recovered from actual disordered eating, but I’m less sure I’ve shed a … Continue reading

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Other things We Don’t Talk About: a long account of how my body doesn’t work properly

TW: medical procedures, bodily fluids, suicidality; white, middle-class, first world, cisgender guilt I don’t think I’ve overshared about this much, but I have at least one chronic mystery ailment. Anyone who’s spent time with me IRL will know that I … Continue reading

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I have strong opinions on buses

This is not about the recent and disastrous changes to Wellington’s bus systems, although I’m not a fan. This is about my possibly weird personal code of conduct on public transport. Being on buses has been exacerbating my anxiety recently. … Continue reading

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This is what the mental health system looks like to me today

Last night I wrote a post titled “this is what feeling suicidal looks like right now”. I didn’t post it because last I heard, talking about suicide made it more likely to happen. Maybe thinking has changed and I should … Continue reading

Posted in meditation on words, never stop learning, sickness, Yoga | Tagged , , , , , | 2 Comments

It’s not you, it’s me

  I did something scary today. I announced that I was taking a break from teaching dance. This has been a long time coming and I don’t know how long the break is going to be. I still love dancing … Continue reading

Posted in ATS, dancing | Tagged , , , , , | 3 Comments

Adventures in swinging the other way #stilladanceblog

God, I haven’t posted anything here since March. A lot has happened since then and I’ve had a lot of thoughts and written a lot of stuff, most of it is stream-of-consciousness processing in paper journals, some of it draft … Continue reading

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I stumbled out of bed, I got ready for the struggle (this is a post about posture)

There’s a person I work with who has good posture. Revision: there’s a person I work with who I think has good posture. Revision: there’s a person I work with whose posture I notice with approval. Let’s be honest, I’m … Continue reading

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The lost art of keeping my mouth shut

Introversion is dominant in my family. My mother was an extrovert and used to excel at filling the ample silences provided by the rest of us. When she died, I felt myself stepping into her role in that regard, even … Continue reading

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